Happy Birthday to me!

Happy Birthday to me!

I'm 23 today...

Reality Check

I feel like a total crazy person. My BIL called this week to let us know that they are expecting. This kinda took me by surprise, and my feelings were really hurt.

When we started trying DH told him, and I feel like they should have told us becuase we started trying over a year ago. Some people may disagree that they should have told us, but its my personal feeling. And I am thankful that they told us in private.

I cried for about three days, and I'm still upset. They are living in a one room garage apartment and now will have to finish building their house in 9 months.

I was fussing because they went sking last weekend and I know that it won't hurt anything, but I felt like it was pretty irresponsible. It was one of those, you have something that I want so badly and you aren't even being responsible about it, moments. Well when I said something to DH he told me that I took that stuff too far.

Well me being the menstural mess that I was got even more upset. But after I thought about it I felt like a crazy person. I'm trying to regroup and deal with this situation.

I'm super stressed because of work, and getting the house finished, and this news just came at a bad time. I will be 23 tomorrow and I really wanted to be pregnant by now.

As DH keeps telling me it will happen when it is supposed to and that I just need to relax, but its hard to see negative after negative each month.

Bummed

Looks like AF has arrived, no warning, just BAM! There she was. I'm sad :(

So I tested this morning...surprise, surprise, BFN :(
I knew it would be, but I'm on CD 27 and no sign of AF yet. I didn't temp this cycle so I really don't know when I o'd. The longest cycle I have had in 6 months was 29 days, so I guess if she doesn't show I will test again in a few days.

I'm still kinda bummed though.

Breakdown

I just had a total emotional breakdown, I spilled a glass of water and I had to move a photo album that has pictures of my grandma in it. So after I cleaned up the mess, I opened the book. As soon as I saw the first picture I just started bawling, I cried for a good 20 minutes. Its the first time I have had a break down like that in a while. I guess its probably good for me though, to let it all out everynow and again.

Amazing Day!!!

Today was a totally amazing day!

I got my feedback from my AP from her walkthrough. It was all positive! She even hand wrote a little note telling me how great the activity I was doing was, and that it was well planned! She signed it and put a smiley face star on it! I was through the roof excited!

We also made an offer on a house and they accepted! We ARE finally going to be homeowners!

God is great and he has given me an amazing day!!

Updates!

I haven't updated in a while so here goes.

TTC: I'm on CD 24, I would ecpext AF in the next few days. I think I o'd around cd 12, but no way to tell for sure, because I'm not temping. I have had an upset stomach all day, not sure what to think of that.

Job: Its going much better, my AP came in last week and again this week. She put the paper from today in my box after I left so I don't know what she had to say. She has not met with me about the over an hour observation she made last week.

Life: DH is great, I made a hint about something that I thought would be super romantic last night and he did it! It was great! Also we are putting a contract on a house tomorrow!! I'm so excited I could scream! Its brand new the floors are not even in yet so we will get to pick them out and everything!

I think that is all for now, I will update again tomorrow when I have more details!